Friends, do you have a photo that evokes bottomless joy yet fills you with sadness? Have you ever dove into a memory that engulfs you with peace yet leaves you unsettled?
For me, this is that photo and memory.
This was moments after Luke’s birth. Everything was right with the world. But moments later, so much went wrong. A postpartum hemorrhage. A scary allergic reaction. An inability to breastfeed. A visit to Children’s Hospital. A rare diagnosis. A procedure for me the very same day. A month and a half long worth of mystery symptoms. An appointment in Baltimore with one of two doctors in the country who could help our son. A lot of tears. A lot of prayers. A lot of help. Exhaustion. Anxiety. Anger. This is where this photo takes me. And for close to three months now, I have simply been unable to look at it.
But today, I will look. I will to look at all the photos of my moments-old, beautiful son. Of his beaming father. Of his proud mother. Because when I look into Luke’s smiley eyes, I see just the good.
The good that is my son; the best good. The good that is giving my precious daughter a brother. The good that is watching my children love each other. The good that is family who drops everything at a moment’s notice for us. The good that is astounding medial advancements. The good that is prayers lifted in our name. The good that is a husband who goes above and beyond the vows he took three years ago. The good that is being a mother. The good that is God walking with us through it all.
I may never forget the struggles we encountered this summer. But I have come to learn that while struggles come and struggles go, the good always remains.
With a grateful heart
Kelsey
With Love, Kelsey 
❤️❤️❤️❤️ There are not enough hearts for me to put here Kelsey. I have thought of you and prayed for you all many times since I heard of little Luke’s diagnosis. I can say that I understand the anxiety, anger and many other things that run through your mind. We went through and are still going through something similar G. Your is more serious as we have never had to think about the decision you all have to make and for that I am so sorry. We didn’t know how well G would walk or run, if anyone would be able to see anything wrong as she got older, would she be able to play sports, etc. it was a long road and you can “see” if you look close enough but none of that matters because she can walk and run and play sports ( to her ability) and that all we ever wanted for her. She will probably never be the fastest, nor have the best foot work, or be a foot model ( we joke about that) but she is HAPPY! Her surgeon at Children’s has asked me to talk a family when their baby was given the same diagnosis just as I talked to a mom who had been through the same when we found out what G had. It helped so much to talk to someone who went through the same thing and I hope that I was able to help the family that was about to go through what I was going through. Many prayers to all Kelsey!
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There are no words…. for yours take my very breath away. Always write… always believe dear beautiful daughter… dear amazing mama❤️
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