Friends, do you have a photo that evokes bottomless joy yet fills you with sadness? Have you ever dove into a memory that engulfs you with peace yet leaves you unsettled?
For me, this is that photo and memory.
This was moments after Luke’s birth. Everything was right with the world. But moments later, so much went wrong. A postpartum hemorrhage. A scary allergic reaction. An inability to breastfeed. A visit to Children’s Hospital. A rare diagnosis. A procedure for me the very same day. A month and a half long worth of mystery symptoms. An appointment in Baltimore with one of two doctors in the country who could help our son. A lot of tears. A lot of prayers. A lot of help. Exhaustion. Anxiety. Anger. This is where this photo takes me. And for close to three months now, I have simply been unable to look at it.
But today, I will look. I will to look at all the photos of my moments-old, beautiful son. Of his beaming father. Of his proud mother. Because when I look into Luke’s smiley eyes, I see just the good.
The good that is my son; the best good. The good that is giving my precious daughter a brother. The good that is watching my children love each other. The good that is family who drops everything at a moment’s notice for us. The good that is astounding medial advancements. The good that is prayers lifted in our name. The good that is a husband who goes above and beyond the vows he took three years ago. The good that is being a mother. The good that is God walking with us through it all.
I may never forget the struggles we encountered this summer. But I have come to learn that while struggles come and struggles go, the good always remains.
With a grateful heart
Kelsey